Tuesday. Not a good day, not a bad day either. One of the ordinary days I had in the past, I guess. (I have had plenty of these every single day of my life.)
I already spent half of my day trying to create a group of paragraphs which would feed my hunger for my unimaginable thoughts and would suffice my need to create an artistic food for my soul and I end up doing this – on writing this.
I don’t want to write down something that I would regret reading in the future. I don’t want to sound pathetic (who would?) even to my self – my best audience of all time. Doesn’t that sound pathetic already? It’s just pathetic-y.
Pathetic-y? (adj. puh – tE’ tik) just add the ‘eeeee’ and woila! A word created in a split second. But is there as such? Nah. But know what; I wouldn’t mind being the creator of it, of such, of thy word. That would give tons, and even boulders and community of laughter to my college professors and would give my critics the chance to eye me more – a lot more often than usual. But that’s normal, you couldn’t ever at all have the power to control the eyes of those who cannot even understand and walk on their feet barefooted, tippy toes just to know the better you. Damn. I opt not to care. Or let me just put it this way, I just don’t care.
But before I transform this sheet to a hate note, let me get back to where I was at. I tried to think on something that would, somehow, give me a reason to be happy. And writing this just made me more depressed. A spun of the moment, I always get depressed easily. Honestly, it’s hard to stare on a blank page as you try to think of happy thoughts, something to remind me how good a person I am. Or maybe, I was. Past tense.
